I am seriously considering just quitting school. If I were to just swallow my pride and get a job at the grocery store (or something), we could amp up the gooca fund (and the income fund, which will pay us out of interest when we leave)and be outa here VERY quickly. Or at least be more than 100% prepared financially when we go.

I am really enjoying chemistry, but I am HATING my “animal science” classes. They’re torture. I mean really – THEY ARE THAT BAD.

Ought I man up? Or is it really as useless as I’m starting to think it is? Maybe I should switch my major to English or something, and just go part time while I work. Hmmm…

Schedule for the day:

School at 10 (Chemistry! Yay!)
Stop by the UPS store on the way home and get mail (I think my documentary about Enron made it in on Friday, and I haven’t had a chance to make it over there yet to check)
Get Hannah, go to vaccination appointment at 2
Come home, get hannah inside, get stuff out for dinner
Go out to truck, get all items needed for sending out the rest of the products to customers
Stuff envelopes – drop them off at PO tomorrow
Call RIBZ guy and get that damn ad out the door
Get FTP account set up for knife maker who needs to send me pics for his website that I’m making
Finish splash page and blog for the Survival Quarterly magazine
Make Dinner
WORK ON LIBERTY BAG (leather bag that I am making, and which is making my fingers feel like I have been systematically poking them with pins)

And finally, go to sleep.

It’s been like this for 2 weeks. And it will continue to be like this until the magazine gets out the door. I’m a very happy wolf, but also? I want to go camping. Summer can’t get here soon enough.

I walked into a salon yesterday and said, “THOU SHALT CHOP OFF MY LOCKS AND DONATE THEM TO LOCKS OF LOVE.” And they did. And it was good.

Pictorial Evidence:

A truly hairless me

Hubby keeps asking me to figure out what I “want” for my birthday this year. I just have no freakin’ clue.

I could blow it on clothes, bu that’s so yesterday, and my jeans still fit, and they’re comfy. Don’t need clothes, when I can buy them whenever I want to anyway.

I could get an e-reader (B&N nook is the one I like best). There are, like, a bazillion books available for it, as well as any major newspaper I might be interested in amusing myself with, and e-magazines like, “Reason” and “Science”. The only thing that disappoints me is that Audible audiobooks aren’t supported by the nook, and won’t be in the foreseeable future, due to Audible’s DRM bullshit. And it’s kind of expensive. I know my limit, and it’s way below my limit, even with all of the accessories I add to it, but still… $400 for an ebook reader? Aren’t there more important things in the world?

I could get a new gun, but I love my GLOCK, and don’t feel any real desire to buy another handgun right now. And I REALLY don’t want a 10/22 or some such useless rifle right now. If I’m going to spend money on another gun, it will be on an AR-15, and I really don’t have the money for a $2000 gun right now. I mean, I could swing it, but why? Note: I know I could get this gun for less than $2000, but I won’t skimp on something that I like. It makes me sick to see people who have the lowest line of weapon that they can get away with. The gun is an investment, and if you’re going to spend $5.00 on a cup of coffee, you can spend $2000 on a gun. Even if it means you wait and don’t satisfy your disgusting need for instant gratification.

I could ask for a bicycle, and start riding the train to school with my bike, and using the bike to get around campus. That would (in about a year) start to save money on gas, and vehicle maintenance, and I might even be able to sell my car if I do that. I want to sell the car. I don’t like it, and I hate seeing it in our “driveway”. It’s as useless as a toy, and I don’t want anymore toys that I don’t like and won’t use.

I could ask for camping gear so that when we hit Tennessee this summer, I have an ultralight way to camp. That would be a toy, sort of, but it’s the kind I’d use and enjoy. One should have things that they use and enjoy.

Or I could just… *throws a hand over my shoulder, and rolls my eyes* … Just not do anything. It seems so pointless right now. I get a kick out of looking at stuff I don’t usually buy myself, but really… If I don’t usually buy it for myself, do I really want it? I’m so tired of everything this year. What I want is a house in a place that isn’t California, a couple of cows, and sheep and pigs, and… well, you’ve heard it all before. Not a damn money wasting, time wasting, life-force draining piece of junk that will keep me in California that much longer.

I’m starting to think that “being an adult” is just another way of saying, “giving in,” y’know?

Lake Superior, in my front yard:

It’s raining. And it’s very pretty outside. And I have the day off from school. Life, she is good.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Went shooting with the boys, and commandeered my friend Anthony’s AR-15.

Photographic Evidence:

I love to shoot

FUN!!!!

Wow. So AG401 (ethical issues in Agriculture) is going to be interesting. There are no tests, only papers. But we’re talking, at LEAST one paper a week. Should be… a learning experience. And my professor said something funny today. “My father is the most ethical person I know. He’s a lawyer, who works for the government.” He wasn’t joking. …….. Huh. Okay, well… At least there “isn’t any right or wrong answer on any of the questions that you must answer for the papers you must write.” I will conscientiously give as little of my view point as possible, back what I do give up with facts, and try not to yell too loudly when he says things like, “we all know that killing is wrong.” (when what I wanted to say was, “Um, wrong answer, sir. Murdering is wrong. Killing can be wrong, if it’s murder, but killing in self defense is neither ‘wrong’ nor morally reprehensible in any way. Neither is killing a cow or a pig when I’m hungry, and neither is killing an animal through euthanasia when it is suffering and there is no chance of relieving that suffering any other way,” what I actually said was nothing. I bit my tongue – literally – and looked straight at him. I hope he knew better. I really do). Ah, well. I haven’t ever had the opportunity to practice self control, and “Mr. Bill-ism” (elsewhere known as diplomacy) at school. I usually flat out say something in class, because I know I’m right. But I’m starting to learn that it just doesn’t matter. Especially when the guy at the front of the class is the one handing out the grades. And besides, beyond those small issues, which will come up – I’m SURE – again and again in this class, I like this man as a professor. He’s an adult, and he acts like one, which is exceedingly rare in the university system, as far as my limited experience goes. He flat out takes responsibility for the things that he says, and it’s so rare. And he mentioned a little something about having had a dog that he loved so much that after he had to put her down, he was never able to get another dog, because he didn’t feel that it would be fair. I grok that. And he never used phrases like, “it seems to me…” or “it’s said that…”. I didn’t realize how much I missed that in a professor until it hit me that he was saying that things “are” this or that, and stated his opinions with enough respect to the students listening that he didn’t preface them with, “It’s my opinion that…” He just assumed we’d know the difference. It was refreshing. So there will be a semi love-hate thing here this quarter. It’ll be good for me. I miss needing to think on a regular basis.

AVS311 (Animal Industries) is going to be the – MOST – boring class on the planet. I almost fell asleep twice (like jerked myself awake right before the snore came), and finally resorted to texting my husband during the lecture to keep me awake. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, and professor didn’t catch me at all, but when the lights are downed to a minimum, and then it’s just slide after slide of powerpoints… God, what a freaking bore.

Chemistry lab saved the day. I lucked out and got the same professor for lab that I have for lecture – and he’s GOOD. And on top of that, there are no pre-labs for this class. And no lab-partners. YES! That means it’s MY responsibility to get the numbers right, and I don’t have to depend on some shmuck who doesn’t care one way or another about what we’re doing in lab that day, and didn’t read the experiment, and doesn’t care if he/she does the experiment correctly. This makes me very, very happy.

All in all, it’s going to be a good quarter. A very good quarter.

Yup, Mercury is in retrograde – again. If you believe this sort of thing makes any difference, it means that miscommunications and arguments abound until…. I think the middle of March. I could be wrong. I hope I am. I hope it ends sooner than that. Last time Mercury was in retrograde (middle/end of 2009), it seemed like just about 90% of my colleagues and friends were having marital problems, and many of them led to divorce. I am not included in that 90%. I don’t have marital problems – but I’m one of the very, very few this time around who isn’t experiencing it.

Still, it worries me. And I see a lot of nonsense taking place already. And focusing on business probably won’t help, since this particular retrograde is supposed to seriously affect business communications and web communications.

Gah. I think I’ll just be posting about school for a while.

Classes start today. That means one less day until graduation. *looking on the bright side, a la Sunni*

I have a mantra I will be repeating this quarter – I am a philomath. I am a philomath. I am a philomath. (one less day to graduation, one less day, one day less) I am a philomath.

I can’t wait. For reals. I’m going to work hard on my relationship with Chemistry this quarter. I’m going to make Mr. Bill and his lovely L my personal bodyguards against my fear of this subject. I’m going to ask questions. I’m going to do my homework. I’m going to go to every single class of every single subject. I’m going to enjoy myself. Really.

**off to campus**